Hiking in the rain
Warning this is a voice to text stream of thought from the trip I took this morning. I didn’t try to edit it. I mean I cleaned up obvious spelling but I wanted to keep it raw and real…
OK so I start out at the beginning of the trail and it’s soaking wet. The rain is coming down a little ploppies, and the entire trail is covered with water. I’m not really too nervous about this other than the fact that I’m not gonna be able to run the trail and I’ll probably be Hugging the sides and brushing up against the trees which is also not terrible. My biggest concern is getting my shoes wet and my pants repelling the water. My coat is tried and tested but now put to chance. Well, my attire was a weak middle of the night decision so I’m now wondering if I should be starting to regret it. So I got out and I start hitting the trail. Looking for places to run and then finally. I settled into a fast run/ walk. There’s beauty everywhere here this is exactly what I needed and so I stopped without any sound. I just let this sound cover me the sound surrounding the sound of the rain hitting the top of my jacket sound of waterfall off in the distance, the sound of wind and small animals And puddles and little mini waterfalls all the sound of trees
The sound of trees and their leaves but I’m not gonna make this a nature talk I’m sure you’ve already heard those 1 million times I mean all you have to do is pick up a midch and novel. I mean really I kind of wanted to grass and talk about the fact that there was no female Michener but I don’t want to go all girl power on you right now. This is not the time and place .

The biggest problem with running in the rain is I forgot the fact that the trails get wet. I have to disclose this I’m an amateur hiker. Sometimes I feel like I’m an amateur at everything and the things that I am expert at well those things are not always fun. And frankly I get bored with them easy and wish for new things that I can become an amateur at and then eventually I will be an expert at maybe and so I’m fighting the battle of keeping my shoes dry by running on the side of the trail and up against the trees, which are making my pants or the outside of my pants soaking wet. And I can tell that the fabric that is supposed to be rain resistant not proof is hanging on for dear life and yet for the most part, I’m pretty dry, it is then that I make a mistake and accidentally miss calculated steps around the puddles. I can feel the water quickly seeping up into the socks. And you know that if you get your feet wet that there’s that slushy air feeling between your toes which is a recipe for blisters, so I’m a little nervous. not that much actually because I can work through blisters I’ve been there before it’s just more irritating than anything else so I hike up this trail as my feet start to get wet. 
I let my mind wander, and I begin to think about things in my life and of course here’s where you would say the words eI think about my life but I think about my life and go through the why am I out here. Are the things I’m doing still working? I don’t even know what I wanna do out here, I don’t even know why I’m not here out here in the middle of the forest with no reception in the pouring rain dodging puddles on a trail. So I keep pressing on at this moment I’m making notes in my phone because I don’t want to try to type the thought. I cannot see it anyway.
I had to take my glasses off. It’s raining so hard that I finally ditched my glasses and stuck them in my pocket. I usually look down in the rain. I look down a lot mainly because I’m thinking also just because I don’t want my glasses to get wet. I mean I kind of want to give up glasses frankly, but I don’t feel like I have the ability to overcome putting something in your eye to wear contacts. or maybe I can and that’s just not my priority right now and so I walk around Looking at this blurred screen and speaking notes into the phone.
I’m completely alone out here there’s nobody else on the trail at all it’s just me I love this so much. I really don’t even know how long this trail is a couple miles. Not too bad I didn’t plan very well but I’m walking next to the highway so if I do trip and break my hip, I can yell out loud enough for someone to find me. I also left my husband a map of where I was going and posted it on social media to 20 people, who may or may not give a shit about me, but I certainly do care about them. So anyway here we are oh and this little blog post right now it’s keeping me company.
Sometimes I play a little games to keep myself company, like what song would this picture be? Or who is painting this moment or what book is this from?
This is a fun one we’re about to step into a darker part I was think of that John Denver song in the Forest primeval, I really didn’t even know what a forest primeval was for a long time, and I really didn’t understand the meaning of the word primeval until I touched it and then it became very clear that I have nothing to relate this back other than the trail is drying up - the sun is out and I’m getting closer and closer to the Falls.
I’ll take some more pictures and think some more and if I think of anything I’ll share it with you I don’t know who you are. I probably will never get the chance to meet in person, but out in the universe we can share a moment, and perhaps it will bring a smile to your face, or at the moment, relieve yourself of any sadness that it has, and brighten your day good morning
Millions of drops of water
I’m so right now I’m standing underneath a rock. I think I took a picture of it staring out at some trees. I’m listening to the waterfall the other day I was on the Internet and I found the sound of a black hole, pure chaos, power, entropy, spillage, confusion, and I am not kidding you when I say this this water song sounds exactly the black hole. When a million drops of water get together and get some energy behind them, they can be very loud, instructive, destructive, dangerous, and beautiful.

Naïveté
A turned leaf just came loose from the tree and floated playfully in the wind, completely naïve on the waterfall. And the wind shifted it toward the beginning of the top of the falls…its event horizon.

Risk
OK so there’s like a portion of the waterfall I wanna see this a little off trail I’m sitting here having a conversation with myself trying to talk myself in/out this. I’ve already made a lot of bad decisions today. What’s a few more. One of the things that I remember about all my bad decisions is the worst ones are made on impulse. The ones where I don’t stop and have a conversation with myself before I move forward. So I am talking to myself.
Let’s weigh the risk/reward for a moment risk we are off trail. Risk: We will have to be found if we get lost or hurt. Someone will have to search for us. Risk: it’s a jump. Risk: I’m about to start skis school in a week do I really want to take this on? I might hurt myself. Risk: my shoes are hanging by a thread they’re already so damp both sides now and my socks feel gross. Risk: Is this even going to be enjoyable? What if I slip on something? It’s not like I brought hiking boots. Reward: view of the falls from a completely different angle that’s completely my own and original and someone else may not see. LFG.
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All right, so I made it well almost made it. I got right up to the edge and then there was a jump that I was gonna have to make and I decided it was time to leave part of it for next time. I don’t have to take all the calculated risks only the ones I’m comfortable with. The first jump was fine but this second one was something that I just wasn’t quite sure about. So I had that conversation with myself and I decided that it would be best. Enjoyed it enough this time to come back out here again on a dryer day with better shoes and then take a stab at that jump to get right up next to the waterfall .


Changing perspectives
It is very important when you go off trail to keep perspective on the position and angle of things around you that are on immovable. For example, unusual downed logs and trees. Downed logs and trees are my friend when I’m hiking on a trail because their position is immovable and if I take a picture of it, I can always see what angle I’m approaching .
One of the issues were going off trail is why you’re going down the hill you may feel like you’re gonna be able to remember the things in that perspective from your approaching angle. But the reality is when you turn around and come up the trail, from a different angle, everything looks different.
And the better you observe and connect the easiet it is when you turn back to find the markers on the trail. And you have to try to see and listen to it all. Focus is imperative.
And you can’t just say, I want to enjoy the sounds and quiet beauty and only connect with quiet in nature, you have to connect with all of parts of the universe, including the loud obnoxious and the inconvenient.
The waterfalls. And listen to their volume and sounds and connect them on different parts of the journey so you can keep perspective on where you are at.
I think of those things, and I think about my connection to a waterfall and the sound. And it sounds like stress and fury at some point and a softer swishy innocence at others.
I don’t like stress in my life. I don’t like to be dis disgruntled, but at the same time I get bored very easy and I like to be challenge, so how do I reconcile the two I don’t I don’t try to find answers for every question. I just let life happen.
I’m a little lost right now I’m not completely sure how far I am away from my destination. Am I lost? Am I in trouble? It’s wet, cold and rainy and beautiful and dangerous.
I like to run and when I see something beautiful like a waterfall and I will take every single effort to get there. My own hubris standing behind me like a coaxing devil poking me in the back saying things like “you can do it” and “don’t stop now”.
the problem is when I finally get to the destinations just like I said earlier, there’s that point we have to turn back when you’ve got to reassess and head back to your original destination and that part is tricky because you still have to have the time and energy and the directional awareness together with earlier observations. It’s focus heavy.
I’ve quit, avoiding the puddles too. I’ve decided to run right through them.

Yeah, just at the point why I was really starting to feel the freezing on my feet. I saw the car I saw it of blessed car. I am so glad to see you that’s all I took off and a dead run between all the puddles again, and bring all caution to the wind probably made a few wicked steps that could have gone either way. I shouldn’t have, but I made it!
I do not know how I got back in this matter, I came out of a completely different trail then I went in and so it doesn’t matter I made it back.
I’m alive probably now more than ever .